Skit for Security

Here's the skit we came up with. They are shooting tonight, so post your changes fast! In other words...

[url]click here

Cameraperson
Grip
Reporter
Bystander
Vagrant

Reporter: Where’s the subject matter expert? This newscast about hurricane preparedness is going live in a matter of seconds, and we don’t have a hurricane preparedness expert! What are we going to do…(hands on head) BAD THINGS ARE HAPPENING!!!

(Grabs a person walking by)

Reporter: Have you ever been in a hurricane?

Bystander: Uh…yes (smiles at the camera and waves)

Reporter: It’s not on yet. I will give you $20 if you will act like a Hurricane expert

Bystander: Well, I don’t really…

Reporter: GREAT, thanks!

Grip: Ok, you are live in 5 4 3 2 1 go

Reporter: Hi, I’m Leslie Wessman of WKRY in Jacksonville, Florida. We’re spending time today with Alice Winkie, a renowned research scientist in the field of Hurricane preparedness. There have already been 8 named storms this hurricane season, and the truth of the matter is we are not out of the woods yet. Mrs. Winkie is going to give us some real life tips that can help you and your family stay safe through the remainder of this hurricane season. Mrs. Winkie, could you please tell us how you became an expert on Hurricane readiness?

Bystander: Ummm, well. I was just walking by here and saw the news truck…

Reporter: (Interrupting) During Hurricane Hugo right? Which is where you had the only house on the block that wasn’t destroyed thanks to your quick thinking and ingenuity!?! Well, we are certainly excited to hear from you about how we can prepare better for the impending hurricanes. What’s your first tip for making us more secure?

(Reporter waves $20 bill at bystander off camera)

Bystander: Well, you can start by…uh, battening down the hatches.

Reporter: Right, battening down. Can you show us how to do that?

(Vagrant passes by with shopping cart)

Bystander: Yeah, well, you can start by having a rope, (pulling out of shopping cart) a big rope. One of the best things you can do is to make sure your car doesn’t get blown away. So you should park it near a really big tree and secure it to that tree. (Begins tying off car)

Reporter: Well that certainly is ingenious. What kind of knot is that?

Bystander: Square, but you know the most important thing to have during a Hurricane is duct tape. (pulls from cart) If for some reason you cannot tie the knot, or don’t have enough rope to make it around the car and the tree, you can just do like so, and duct tape the rope to the windshield.

Camera: You have to be kidding me. What if the tree knocks over?

Bystander: Duct tape

Reporter: Duct tape?

Bystander: Yeah, duct tape the tree to the ground, and don’t be fooled by no imitators like that Gorilla tape. Use the real duct tape.

Reporter: (dumbfounded) So, what other tips do you have for us?

Camera: (under breathe) Please don’t encourage him

Bystander: You can duct tape the cameraman is what you can do. (Walking toward cameraman)

Camer: Seriously, I’ll make it $50 if you don’t touch me

Bystander: (Pauses…continues) Well, you can use a blanket….a uh, you know, security blanket, (pulls from vagrant) in the event that you get, picked up and tossed around. You always want to have a good security blanket. (Wrapping duct tape around the reporter) And duct tape it in place. It will keep you warm and padded…not that you need anymore of that.

Camera: This is ridiculous

Reporter: Keep rolling, just keep rolling.

Camera: Whatever.

Bystander: The next thing you want to do is secure your windows.

Reporter: Well, yes, that’s actually a good idea Alice. How do we do that?

Bystander: Duct tape. Here I’ll show you how to do it on your car window.

Reporter: OK, my keys are under the security blanket here.

Bystander: Just hand em’ out to me.

Reporter: (Handing keys through blanket) Here you go.

Bystander: First you open the car door and then just start at the top of the window and start taping, … this will go a little easier if I shut the door. (gets in car and closes door)

Reporter: Oh, OK

Sound of the doors locking.
Starts car…drives off

Camera: I think she just took your car

Reporter: This is Leslie Wessman of WKRY in Jacksonville reporting on Hurricane preparedness, now back to you?

I like the skit. Sorry I have nothing useful to add, as my head is pounding and I can't think. Are you showing that picture of the car Katie found?

recreating it

I'm editing it now... it is either going to be hilarious... or rediculous.

Once it finishes processing you can see the video here.

hill...arious!